from a “Can you find the mistakes in this picture?” comparative instructional cartoon for children, posted in the kitchen of the Nottingham Cooperative in Madison, Wisconsin, sometime in 2006 or earlier
A. What’s Wrong with this Picture?
1. Stegosaurus has put his right forefoot through a cardboard box.
2. Species of upright bipedal dinosaur is indeterminate,
3. and the spots on its tail are less reptilian than Holsteinian.
4. It has a vest-pocket. Without a vest.
5. One of its eyes is located in its lower jaw.
6. It has an opposable thumb.
7. Its other thumb and tail have grown together.
8. The bridle of Stegosaurus is improperly fitted.
9. To return to Stegosaurus, what’s that loop coming out of the top of its head?
B. What’s Wrong with Art Criticism?
1. Gender assumptions. Plus, it could be a cement block. Or bad taste in footwear. But
we’re straying from our subject, which is not fashion criticism.
2. Are we an expert paleontologist? I didn’t think so.
3. Maybe it spilled its last meal. Maybe it has a loathsome disease. Let’s be kind.
4. Smiling without a cat.
5. This is not necessarily a problem.
6. Worse, this does not harmonize with the tail.
7. How distressing! Yet how practical, should any succumb to its fond and energetic
embrace!
8. Are we an expert trainer of extinct lizards? I didn’t think so.
9. A band of pure energy reuniting the divorced lobes of its brain. A handle for the
user’s convenience. A saurian crown.
F.J. Bergmann
Madison, WI
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